Join me if you are looking to become more of the person you know you ought to be. These free, weekly meditations are inspired by a wide range of sources, including insightful books, philosophy, and encounters with intriguing individuals. I hope you find them useful as we explore the art of leading ourselves well.
Playing Pretend
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June 25, 2024 - Read Online When I was younger, I played make believe.
Now when I close my eyes, I just fall asleep. If you live long enough, life will make you believe that they’re gone. But dream on. -Ben Rector, “Dream On”.
My three-year-old son has an insatiable desire for playing pretend. He went through a phase three months ago where it was all he wanted to do. If we had the ability to record every word my son said, I would bet that the most frequent was “pretend”. Examples: “Dad. Pretend I am Donald Duck.” “Dad. Pretend I am a dog.” “Dad. Pretend I am a racecar.” And on and on and on. If you hang out with kids of a certain age, you are sure to see this. And you likely remember some version of this from your own childhood. Why do we enter this world with a powerful drive to play make-believe? We have discussed this before - “pretending” is how we learn, even into adulthood. We stop calling it “make-believe”, but it isn’t all that different. If you want to become a heart surgeon, you don’t start by plunging a knife into a living human’s chest. You start with study, and then you add practice to your study. The practice you do, over time, changes from “make-believe” to becoming a real surgeon. First, you operate on a dummy, then you operate on a cadaver. After this, you operate in tandem with an experienced doctor. Years of study and practice must take place before you are ready to operate on a living person. You have to pretend to be a surgeon before you become the real thing. This is true for any profession I can think of. Even less-complex professions have learning curves. You practice being until you are. There is a reason “fake it ‘till you make it” is a popular axiom. To change, we first must embody something that is outside ourselves and test-drive it. This applies to so much more than becoming a professional in our field of work. If I want to become “good” what better place to start than pretending to be “good”? If I "make-believe" that I am good, I will start to do good things. I will start to see people like a good person sees them. I will start reading books that good people read. I will be curious about things good people like and seek those things out. It is easy to think that we could never be the kind of person we know we ought to be. We may try something new (reading more, working out more, journaling more, etc.) and say “I look silly. Who am I fooling? I’m not this kind of person.” But this is a self-limiting perspective. Think about it - no one calls a medical student foolish. No one says “You aren’t a real doctor! Stop pretending” to them. Everyone starts somewhere. And starting looks a lot like “make-believe” at first. An alcoholic starts by “making-believe” like they are a sober person by staying home on a Friday night. A person with an ugly heart starts by “making-believe” like they are a person with a kind heart when they act kindly. A closed-off person starts by “making-believe” they are open when they ask someone for help. Soon the student leaves medical school and becomes a resident at a real hospital. People start calling him “Doctor”. And today he is the one holding the knife, saving lives, and teaching students to do the same. The "make-believe" you can become the real you. What will you do with this power? -Dave LaGue ----- If you know anyone who you think would value these emails, please forward this along! |
On Becoming Good
Join me if you are looking to become more of the person you know you ought to be. These free, weekly meditations are inspired by a wide range of sources, including insightful books, philosophy, and encounters with intriguing individuals. I hope you find them useful as we explore the art of leading ourselves well.
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